Venting.

I'm not the kind of person to usually complain too much, I try to stay positive and I've learned to not let things get to me. But sometimes you can't take it. Today is one of those days.

I've spent the last 7 weeks in EMT school, 3 days a week, 6 hours of classroom time a day, endless hours of late night studying and hopes in getting a job where I can progress with my career in the medical field. Today, Around 6 am I woke up from side pain. The only of the time I've had pain like this was here once again, I though it was my back, because I'd be dancing all week. I knew better, but continued to deny it... for SOME reason I thought more I denied it the less likely is was kidney stones. I tossed and turned for an hour with the pain in my back and then Jumped into the shower, the hot water help a ton so I got out and dresses, it was 7:30 and I have to leave by 8 to be to school on time and was determined to go. Slowly but surely I was ready by 8 but the pain was more intense then last time. I walked into my living room and melted onto the couch I knew as soon as laid down there was no way I could drive. I can't even describe how miserable I was. I called school to ask them about missing today and no one answered so I left a message, I called my friend ashley and she came over, between her and my roommate Ava, they got me as comfortable as possible, not caring that I was throwing up or squirming around every 10 seconds...I'm so lucky to have good friends in my life. The pain was worse than before and so I went to the ER. They thought I could be dehydrated, so they gave me an IV and pain medication and nausea medicine. I had a CT scan and found 5 kidney stones (UH OH) one which was really large and traveling which was giving the most pain. I was in the ER still when the school's secretary called me and told me that because I missed a "mandatory review day" I was dropped from the program...... 3 DAYS BEFORE MY PROGRAM WAS OVER. I was crying so hard when they told me that the nurse had to calm me down. I got discharged with 3 medications and went to fill them and found out that my insurance doesn't cover any of my prescriptions... sooo $97 later.... I had my medicine. I ate lunch and took medicine and went down to my school to talk in person, they said because I signed the program's contract stating If I were to miss any of the days that were mandatory I would be dropped and that they can't make exceptions for me or they would have to make exceptions for everyone. I left sobbing and I'm so lucky I had Ashley with me. I got home and layed in bed and took a 3 hour nap (vicodin helped that)

I'm so sad about everything ... I know things happen for a reason, but right now I'm having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know why I'm supposed to be out of the program or why I had to have kidney stones of all the days to get them I'd get them today... I feel so lost. and I still have to have the stone pass sometime....owie.... I'll get over it sometime or other .. but for now this really sucks.